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President Grant 



671 
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opy 1 



AND 



Political Rings 

A SATIRE. 

^Z 

BY Pr'CUDMORE, ESQ., 

COUNSELOR AT LAW. 



Author of the " Cwil Government of the States, and the 

Constitutional History of the United States," 

the ''Irish Bejnihlic," etc., etc. 



New York : 

For Sale loy P. J. KENKDY, No. 5 Bax-clay Street. 

1878. 






Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1878, 

By p. CUDMOFtE, 

In the Office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington. 



President Grant: 

A SATIRE. 



Appom VTTOX surrender made Grant a hero — 
He was dubbed a Scipio and a Csesar— 
He was not noble, great, nor even grand, 
His selfisli avarice was liis god ! 
With Johnson he proved a double dealer 
And joined a ring of Republican schemers. 
In 1868 for President he was then run- 
As a candidate both deaf and dumb. 
Of all the spirits that Christ scourged 
The dumb devil was hardest to purge. 
Grant displayed cunning and deceit, 
In his letter of " Let us have peace." 
When in power, peace was then treason, 
His argument was th' bullet and bayonet. 
Before election it was his proud boast, 
That he had no " pohcy of his own," 
But when in office he changed his tone. 
By him th' Constitution was o'erthrown. 
His word was law— and avarice his rule ; 



He was willful and stubborn as a mule. 

For every present his hand was out, 

Be it turkey, money, stocks, or house. 

After election tli' peojole were alarmed 

When they saw th' President th' d\ipe of j)arty. 

What the party devised he joined in the plan, 

Finance — reconstruction — and Ku-Klux Klan — 

To prove that rags are as precious as gold. 

He hoisted Bradley and Strong on th' Suj)reme Court, 

They were expected to do his beck or bidding, 

They were useful on the Electoral Commission, 

As an instrument of a despot the most vile. 

The Supreme Court was re-organized. 

He joined Congress in every scheme. 

And as an inducement they raised his pay. 

Ho was phed by strikers and lobbyists. 

He was the dupe of salary grabbers. 

With pohtical knowledge he was not blessed, 

He knew enough to feather his nest. 

He was elected to preside o'er the nation — 

He got rich offices for his relations, 

Father, brother, sons, and brother-in-law Casey. - 

Wlien at Galena he was but a tanner. 

Now he was win'd and din'd by Wall street bankers. 

He had a large salary— got presents and things, 

He became the dupe of a whiskey ring, 

They were wretches, avaricious, low, and mean, 

Orville, Belknap, Babcock, McDonald, and McKey — 

And although Belknap in war was not famous, 

He won renown as a military post trader. 



As a soldier he did not rival Csesar. 

He made money out of soldiers and rations. 

Wlien at Keokuk he was very poor, 

At Washington he drove a coach and four — 

When his jobs were discovered, he did cry — 

Like father Adam — " Oh, blame my wife ! " 

When to j)rison he would go for his crimes. 

Grant exclaimed — my friend you resign. 

To pay the debt both principal and interest, 

A duty was laid on spirituous liquor. 

To collect this revenue all o'er the nation, 

Th' Government employ'd inspectors and gangers — 

The gangers and distillers devised a plan. 

By which out of two gallons the Government got one ; 

This on the Government was a great fraud. 

Out of the revenue the Government got half. 

You now ask me where the other half went ; 

Ask Grant, Babcock, and the whiske}^ ring. 

This whiskey conspiracy had its ramification — 

Its headquarters was in Grant's bed-chamber. 

As long as the fox runs he is caught at last — 

Bristow and his detectives pounced on Bab. ; 

Some of Bristow's lynx-eyed boys 

In St. Louis got an indictment for Joyce, 

And before Bristow the ring would shake, 

He got Grant to sign, " Let no guilty man escape : " 

Joyce, McDonald, Avery, McKey, and Maguire, 

All of Grant's chickens, were caged in the wires ; 

Not the wires that cage canaries and linnets, 

But the prison bars of Jefferson City. 



As the mother hen gathers her chickens under her wing — 

The President's pardon was a good thing — 

And as the hen to her chicks doth cluck, 

Grant with his i)ardon th' birds did hush up. 

^Vlien McKey was caged th' Democrat did rant, 

And Grant was afraid they'd cage his Bab., 

And that th' jail birds would blab, blab, blab. 

Bristow and the courts did Bab. alarm — 

He'd a military commission in Chicago. 

Hancock and others — good men and time men. 

Sent Bab. and his imps back to St. Louis ; 

Judge Treat was filling up the prison. 

And as a dead weight Grant sent 'em Dillon. 

AVhen Grant saw that Bab. would be caged. 

He trembled for Orville — his heart did ache. 

Off to St. Louis his detective did hie. 

To steal from the U. S. Attorney evidence on file — 

Whiskey conspii-ators weren't then alarmed, 

For the President withdrew th' " Stats's-evidence pardon." 

Because Gen. Custer testified 'gainst the ringers, 

He was sent on th' plains to be scalped by Indians. 

The Attorney-Gen'ral, the vile old sinner, 

Instead of prosecuting Bab. became his defender, 

The President's jDower — oh, jury and Dillon, 

Bab. th' whiskey conspirator was finally acquitted — 

The power of the President was so great, 

Bab.'s indictment was hushed up for '■Uoiouig up a safe.'* 

And before the President's term did end. 

He opened th' jail-door and let the birds out to sing. 

In 1875, Grant and his vile abettors, 



Electioneered for a Presidential third term ; 

If he'd got a third he'd want a fourth one, 

He'd be a dictator like Caesar or Napoleon. 

His imperial airs were so unusual, 

That he would play Csesar in the future — 

His military power was so despotic, 

That th' x^eople feared th' man on horseback. 

A third nomination doubtless he'd win, 

But for Belknap, Babcock, and the whiskey ring. 

His military renown was daily waning, 

Before Congressional Committee investigation. 

The people's confidence in Grant had diminished, 

"When they saw the President shielding Avhiskey ringers. 

In 187G, Jim Blaine made a great sj^lurge. 

In Congress he flaunted his bloody shirt, 

He would be nominated for President, certain, 

But for the lobbyists and " Mulligan letters." 

Morton, Butler, and other wily knaves, 

" Put up the job " to slaughter Jim Blaine. 

Between Republican aspu'ants rivahy was great — 

As a compromise candidate they ran Hayes. 

Grant feared that by Tilden he'd be investigated. 

He tried to carrj^ the election by soldiers and bayonets. 

Instead of keeping the army at the Black Hills, 

He sent them South to bulldoze " tlie colored men." 

Grant proved a traitor in the " Alabama Claims" 

A dux^e in San Domingo and Samana Bay. 

In 1869 Grant joined in the bond-holders plan, 

By signing the bill for the bond-holding clan. 

A bill for paying the five-twenties in gold. 



8 

Tims, out of tlie Treasury millions were stole. 

Ill 1873 Grant showed his mean folly, 

By demonetizing our silver dollar. 

When Grant was President, the people were alarmed, 

"Wlien the Southern States were governed by satraps, 

Carpet-bag governors he upheld by bayonets, 

In South Carolina, Scott, Moses and Chamberlain. 

In Louisiana his " military rule " was despotic. 

The ballot-box was overthrown by Kellogg and Packard. 

Republican papers cried " Oh, Hambm-g !" 

In South Carohna rifle clubs were disbanded. 

His military orders were despotic, unusual — 

A violation of State rights and the Constitution. 

On the State Governors Grant did frown. 

He'd supplant self-government by militar}^ j^owcr. 

In his Southern policy he stood alone. 

He knew no laws but military force — 

In his pohcy to protect " the colored man," 

He put the South under military ban. 

Grant, the tyrant, triumphed o'er the law, 

Like Pisastratous, he had a body-guard. 

To use intimidation and bribery at the ballot-box, 

Federal officers were taxed by Chandler and Cameron. 

From the North there was a carpet-baggers' flood 

Of men who left their country for their country's good. 

For during this fierce political strife, 

Carpet-baggers robbed the peoi^le — " black and white.'* 

To purge the cai-pet-bag rule from the Southern States, 

Caused the colored stampede to Tilden from Hayes. 

After election the Republicans found it out, 



9 

That Grant's misrule united the " Solid South:' 

Bepublicans grief and spite were very great, 

When they found Tilden elected over Hayes. 

Grant, Chamberlain and Cameron, and other rogues. 

Kept Tilden out of office by " Beturning Boards." 

Grant's tactics was a military display, 

To bull-doze the Democrats and inaugurate Hayes 

His mihtary display alarmed the Nation ; 

In South CaroHna he ousted the legislature. 

In Louisiana he followed up his military tactics, 

With troops he supported Kellogg and Packard. 

Chandler and Cameron laid the wires and ropes. 

To get fraudulent certificates from Keturning Boards. 

In Florida, South Carolina, carpet-bag States, 

Fraudulent electors were retui-ned for Hayes. 

When the Bepublicans found themselves beaten, 

They cried out "bull-dozing" and "intimidation!" 

The canvassing-boards, theu- deputies and clerks. 

Had contested returns compiled in the dark. 

The Betuiming Board of the State of Louisiana, 

Offered to sell out for a million dollars. 

In South Carohna, Florida and Louisiana, 

The Beturning Boards ousted towns and parishes. 

In the three last mentioned carpet-bag States, 

Democratic parishes were thrown out to give certificates to 

Hayes. 
Grant was the first President to employ mihtary law, 
Hayes the first President chosen by fraud. 
In the memorable year of the Nation's Centennial, 
There were two Presidential aspirants, Hayes and Tilden. 



10 

The Democrats said thej elected Tilden and Hendricks, 
The Eepubhcans said that Grant would make Hayes win- 
ner. 
The fear of another war had alarmed the Nation, 
The people feared the presidential question would end with 

bayonets, 
They said that fifteen would settle our political trouble. 
The Democrats squirmed under eight to seven. 
Tilden and Hewitt thought they were a match for Hayes, 
But they found then* seven swallowed up by eight. 
The people were astounded to behold the new plan, 
"When the president of forty-live millions was chosen by 

one man. 
The Democrats cried out it was deceit at the best. 
But if victors, in future, they must fly to the "West — 
Beware of all political hacks, tricksters and schemers, 
Trust not in emj^ty promises in the year eighty — 
W^e will have om^ chief magistrate elected by ballot, 
Not by Eeturning Boards — AVells, Morton and Bradley^ 
The President in future must be elected by ballot. 
W^e will abohsh the nuisance, the Electoral College, 
The people will then assume their sovereignty ; 
The majority in future shall rule the minority. 
Grant, when first elected, had military fame. 
He left the W^hite House in a cloud of shame. 
He went to Galena, where he was a tanner. 
And then to England to see Mrs. Sartoris. 
Mrs. Grant was all fidget and racket, 
Preparing to sail by the very next packet 
Grant, in London, put on j^rincely airs. 



11 

He bowed his head to the rich and great, 

He got receptions from Ministers of State — 

A reward for his treason with Alabama Claims— 

In his speeches to John B he had the f ollj 

To pledge Columbia as a British ally. 

The Gralena tanner in pompous state, 

Hob-nobbed to Victoria and the Prince of Wales. 

He is the first President with the brand. 

Of putting on royal airs in foreign lands ! 

Grant appeared in uniform — military traps, 

He acted the Lickspittle — a military fop. 

He danced attendance on lords and dukes. 

He had an invitation each day in June — 

He would act Csesar or a Mogul, 

And for a commission he'd turn Turk. 

Oh, what a time had the Galena tanner. 

Taking a drive in Victoria's fine carriage J 

He despised his countrymen as serfs. 

While wining and dining with the stupid guelphs. 

John B cared little for Grant's folly. 

Only he wanted Uncle Sam for an ally. 



Political Rings: 



A SATIRE. 

By p. CUDM;0KE, Esq., 

COUNSELOR- AT-LAW. 

Autlior of the "Civil Government of tlie States and the Constitutiona] 
History of the United States," the " Irish Republic," etc., etc. 



Poets of yore to Parnassus did wing — 

And invoked the muses to aid 'em to sing — 

Their themes often were grand and subHme. 

Some hke Dante hurled shafts of satire — 

Others writ of heroic deeds— chieftains and kings. 

My theme is corruption and pohtical rings — 

Politicians have form'd rings in ev'ry place — 

And a Canal ring in th' Empire State. 

Eings in ev'ry county, town, city, and ward, — 

There was a corrupt ring in Tammany Hall. 

Connolly, Sweeney, Tweed, and their pals, 

Were indicted for corruption and fraud. 

They thought that their deeds ne'er would be known, 

For they controll'd th' Legislature and th' Courts. 

And although Tweed possessed millions, 

O'Conor and th' " Seventy " sent 'im to prison— 



14 

To rob Uncle Sam is a profitable thing, 

And in Washington is a Treasury ring. 

There are rings of distillers and gangers, 

Bab.'s consj)iracy was in Grant's chamber — 

The rings had their aiders and abettors, 

A Washington ring was headed by Shepherd — 

By Court-House rings the people are defrauded. 

There was a corrupt ring in Chicago — 

There are treasuiy defaulters in th' States all o'er, 

And S , and M , in Minnesota. 

Tweed for his frauds to jorison did go — 
A defalcation, in Minnesota, is called a "lone." 
There are rings to rob the poor red man — 
There were rings of schemers to evade the draft. 
Eings for steahng in the public lands. 
And a ring for steahng by " railroad bonds." 
Kings of schemers, rogues, and defrauders. 
And many rings for robbing the farmers. 
Rings of lobbyists, strikers— political thieves. 
And railroad rings— and the " Credit MoUlier." 
Rings for stealing in the State school funds. 
And rings for monopoly in school books — 
And rings for steahng in the swamp lands. 
And rings for stealing in school fund bonds, 
Rings for steahng fi'om the poor Indians, 
And rings of defaulters— agents of pensions ; 
In the pension office was a big steal, 

Jim B r, in Chicago, buUdozed Miss Sweet — 

There were rings of trappers and Indian traders, 
And rings to buy up Territorial Legislatures, 



15 

Rings for stealing in tlie State pine lands, 
And a ring for th' payment of railroad bonds. 
Rings of gangers and inspectors of stills — 
Millions are stolen by " Crooked Whiskey " rings. 
Revenue thieves make a very big thing — 
And in New York is a Custom-house ring. 
In ev'ry legislature are lobby ringers, 
And in Minnesota are railroad skinners — 
Rings of bondholders and railroad agents. 
Skinners by name and skinners by nature. 

Mc made a fortune in pine land stumps. 

And built a huge mansion with " State funds." 

Th' Government is robbed by contractors and builders. 

They are aided by army and naval ringers — 

Rings influence men in high and low station, 

And railroad rings the State Legislatures — 

Rings for reconstructing th' Southern States, 

And Grant's conspii'acy to inaugurate Hayes — 

Many rings of miners and land grabbers, 

And rings of speculators — " railroad wreckers," 

And rings for cheating in wheat and oats 

And for defrauding th' Gov't by cancelling its notes. 

And although th' rings did plunder and steal, 

Th' President and Governors did 'em shield. 

Many were indicted for "huge steals" — 

Th' prosecution increased th' debts of th' States. 

None ev'r doubted of their plunder and fraud. 

Money and party triumphed o'er th' laws. 

And where th' dominant party didn't want investigation 

Th' matter was hushed up by accepting a resignation — 



IG 

To cover up frauds and stealings Jmies arc packed 
And State and County Attorneys wink at tli' job — 
And wlien to 2:)rison was sent a rogue or defaulter. 
The Jail door was opened by th' President's pardon. 
There are rings and defaulters in ev'ry station 
And corruption and plunder all o'er th' nation. 
Oh, for a Jefferson, a Jackson, or a Clay ! 
We have mere poHticians — has virtue failed ? 

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



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